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  • Writer's pictureBlueSky

How Childhood Trauma Shows Up in a Relationship

Updated: Jul 5


Woman having video therapy session


Childhood trauma can have a significant impact on how we form and maintain relationships in adulthood. Understanding how it can impact relationships is an essential step in finding healing and developing healthy connections with others

Here are five examples of how childhood trauma can show up in a relationship:


  1. Avoidance - A person who has experienced childhood trauma may avoid emotional intimacy, leading to difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships.

  2. Trust issues - Childhood trauma can lead to a lack of trust in others, making it difficult for the person to open up and build trust in their relationships.

  3. Reactivity - Trauma can cause a person to be easily triggered, leading to emotional outbursts or shutting down in response to certain situations.

  4. Codependency - Those who have experienced childhood trauma may have learned to rely on others for their emotional well-being, leading to codependent behaviors in their relationships.

  5. Self-sabotage - Unresolved trauma can lead to self-sabotage in relationships, causing the person to create problems or push people away as a way of protecting themselves from further hurt.


It's important to understand that these behaviors are not the fault of the person experiencing them, but rather a result of the trauma they have endured. It is crucial to seek professional help and support to work through the impact of childhood trauma on relationships. With time, support, and self-reflection, it is possible to overcome the negative effects of childhood trauma and build healthy, fulfilling relationships.


In addition to seeking professional help, individuals who have experienced childhood trauma may also benefit from practicing self-care and self-compassion. This includes making time for activities that bring joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. It is also important to set boundaries in relationships and communicate openly and honestly with others about one's needs and feelings.


By prioritizing self-care and healthy communication, individuals can begin to build trusting and supportive relationships. Let us remember that healing from childhood trauma is a process and may take time, but with patience and perseverance, it is possible to overcome the negative effects and form healthy, meaningful connections with others.


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